Feb 27, 2013

Heavy Heart


I was going to write about how I think I did okay at my Dragon's Den audition,
but I'm not going to be holding my breath for a phone call.

Then I was going to write about how this weather is really starting to make me crazy . . .

But since I will be off to Florida in a couple days, I was going to write about how I have to suck it up.

And then I got a phone call.

Thee phone call.

Anna passed away.

And everything else seems frivolous.

I will be missing the visitation and the funeral, and I feel ill about it.

But I will be there for them every day after.

If those 3 beautiful children need anything that I could possibly provide, I'll be there.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Feb 15, 2013

Douche regularly with Lysol

I saw this somewherethefuck a while ago and tucked it away for a day like today. Please consider this my belated Valentine's Day gift to you -- because I just love Valentine's Day. Ahem.

But seriously, how horrifically hilarious is this?! Wow. We were even MORE stupid back then that I could have ever possibly imagined. I wouldn't be surprised if we found another old ad telling us to blow carbon monoxide up our asses to make our farts disappear.

Doubt. Inhibitions. Ignorance . . . INDEED.



And if by some chance it's fake (I actually hope it's fake), then it's just amusing in a fabulously warped way.
I would feel much better in knowing that our grandmothers did not, in fact, douche with Lysol. But then again, it might explain some things . . . like Donald Trump.

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Feb 7, 2013

Spillin' Some Beans

So, I haven't had my mind on writing the last couple weeks, but I have a pretty big reason why. In 2 weeks from now, I'm going to be putting myself (and my ideas) out to the Dragons (or Sharks, if you're reading this from The States). It's the first round, so it's actually the producers that I have to get passed first, but you get the idea.

I'm auditioning for Dragon's Den 
and yes, I'm freaking out.

But in a really great way.
This is the stuff that really gets my eyes twinkling and my lady bits all pudgy.
Adrenaline through invention.
Oooh, yes.

I'm going to side step a minute and share a little "hard lesson learned" story that happened to me 2 years ago. I didn't write about it then, mainly because I was so devastated that I didn't want to relive any second of it, even through writing.

I approached a very large, Canadian-based company that makes luggage. I submitted 6 concepts to them, with a pitch and I stamped each page with a "©2010 Intellectual Property . . . blardy blargh blar." I never heard back from them; not even an auto-reply. Then, about 10 months later, I happened to visit there site because I was going overseas and needed a new suitcase -- and there, in the "new additions" where T-H-R-E-E OF MY SIX DESIGNS.

SERIOUSLY?!

I called immediately and of course, the first person I was directed to had never heard of me. Then I became more irate. The higher up that I was passed to . . . knew exactly who I was. He told me, in a slightly more politically correct but no less douchey that they had changed the designs "just enough" that I could take them to court if I wanted to, but I'd never win against their team of lawyers. Asshole.

And he was right. I looked in to retaining an intellectual property lawyer and he said that it would require no less than $10,000 to go to court. So, I learned the hard way and at the end of the day, the artist gets screwed as a corporation gets fat off my ideas.

AND IT WILL BE THE FIRST AND LAST TIME
I ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN.

So back to present day. I have 5 designs that are simple but fantastic for twin infants. They really are, I promise you. I have tried to get prototypes made but since my prior experience, it's been difficult approaching random people with my designs, not knowing where they will end up without my permission.

Instead, I'm going to approach the Dragons/Sharks for manufacturing investments; I've done all my facts and figures and I have to say, they are pretty damn sweet.

So, here's my young little pipe dream -- hoping that one day, it will be the "go to" brand for everything for twins (and triplet stuff too, but not as much, sorry!)
If you have twins, or just want to support my bid because you love me, please go to the site (www.artandpolly.com) and tweet your support! The more tweets, obviously, the better. I'm also trying to get some celebrity buzz happening, but sheesh, that Angelina is one tough lady to pin down. JerryMolly? Anybody? Pssfftt.

Anyway, thank you to everyone in advance!

I'll let you know if it goes well. 

If it goes shit, I doubt I'll mention it. 

Just being honest.

Deep breath . . .