Is that you I smell on me?

Apr 16, 2012

A few years back, I had encountered a strange side effect to being with a certain partner. After the first time we stripped down to our bare essentials, I could immediately smell that his "natural scent" was quite stronger than most men I had been with. It wasn't body odor or anything repulsive like that, but it was definitely unique. It's also not something you really bring up in conversation when you're in the midst of foreplay.

Hey, you smell weird! Oh well, let's fuck.

Umm, no.

I may be easy, but dammit, I'm polite! I powered through it. Again. And again...

It wasn't specifically contained to his scrotal area either - it permeated from every pore - like a sex panther pheromone.
Yes, that; it was quite pungent. It stung my nostrils in a good way.

The really bizarre side effect happened after a couple weeks of constant skin slapping with said suitor. It transferred on to me - and no amount of showering, bathing or masking it with body spay could get it off.

It was kind of similar to any other bodily scent that you may find mildly repulsive... but then you cannot stop smelling it (like earring jam, farts or yeast infections... wait, whut..). I loved it and completely hated it at the same time.

It was fucked up, yo!

To this day, he's still the only one that could make me climax under 30 seconds with just a simple touch, so perhaps there was some kind of connection there, but who knows. I often see photos of him and his wife on fucking Facebook and every time, I always wonder if she is... well, you know... stinky.

Perhaps it was only temporary and he was just using Date-Mate 2000 at the time:


"Become more sexually attractive 
Have an AMAZING advantage over your friends
Increase your self confidence
Improve business relationships
Guaranteed RESULTS
Get MORE Sex with Nature's own secret weapon!
Use Date Mate 2000 the ULTIMATE female attractant"


So... more importantly, do they have this in a female form?

Ahem.

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I am also guest posting over at Talk 2 Q this week! 
I'm bitching and moaning about how all of us over-educated Gen-X'ers are fucking useless, for the most part.
At least... we can barely change a light bulb without breaking a sweat of anxiety.
Agree? Disagree? Discuss...

13 comments:

  1. Thank, Q said...:

    Uh, wow. I think I'm more focused in the under 30 seconds than I am how he smelled. Did he write an instruction book?

    I once went to school with a girl who always had a scent to her. She was a mouth breather, so I just assumed it was her breath, but we never could pinpoint the origin or the odor. It wasn't horrible, but it had a stale Cool Ranch Doritos aroma to it.

    I usually got the munchies if she sat behind me in class.

    Can't wait to see the reaction to your guest post tomorrow. It's a really good post!

  1. Women have a magic attractant... it's called BOOBS.

  1. I've been with a man who had a particular odor to him as well. Somewhere shy of bad but a long way from fresh linen. Somehow when I wake up in the morning, before brushing my teeth, there are times when I swear that is exactly his taste "down there". I still have to stifle a grin some mornings...even years later. ;)

  1. I know exactly what you mean. Its like a train wreck, you know you shouldn't look but you can't help yourself.

    Just imagine having to wake up to that smell everyday??

  1. Random Girl said...:

    I am so weird about how guys smell. Not what cologne they wear, just what I smell when we hug. That is make or break for me. There is one guy that was so sweet and I really liked him but my first reaction every time he hugged me was to make space between us. Game off. Sorry dude.

  1. Zombie said...:

    60% arent bad odds. lol.

    I always have my girlfriend telling me I smell, but in a good way. I just thought she was crazy. lol.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @ADSL

    Yeah. Between the smell and his weird last name, even though the sex was mind melting, I knew it wasn't meant to be. LOL

    @Brandon

    Gotta any other ideas? Cuz the boobs aren't doing the trick!

  1. SAHMlovingit said...:

    Made you climax in under 30 seconds? Do you still have his phone number?

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @SAHM It was the weirdest (but most awesome) thing I've ever experienced! lol

  1. Leighannn said...:

    Pheromones?
    Good ones anyway!

  1. Anonymous said...:

    I should have known, you're the only one I've heard reference "earring jam" lol

    xoxo
    c.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @C

    It's so gross, and yet - I LOVE cleaning my earrings. I know... I need help. I'm working on it. LOL

  1. JC Little said...:

    30 seconds? You should've married him! Then you could be the one that people were wondering about being smelly in FB pix. You might be walking funny though...

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